Restless...

"Heal me, I'm heartsick
But I can survive on you..."
~Adam Pascal (whose Model Prisoner CD I just ordered)

Lately I've had so much restless energy...I don't know what to do. There are practical things, of course; learn my lines, study for a test (gulp), play guitar, write a book, homework...yet none of those things appeal. I end up just wathcing TV, my foot jiggling, full of energy. I never have this much energy. Maybe I'll run a mile...yeah, and then fall over dead. I've always wished I could just...run. But I have no endureance. MAybe I can build some up...I've got all this energy.

But I don't feel like running, necessarily, or being practical (I rarely feel like the latter). No, I want to get dressed up, go on a date, dance all night...something... Contra was fun, but I was forced to dance with old men because no one was there my age who was male. Well, one cute guy...but he was "attached" and older than me anyway.

I want to do something daring, something that puts me out of my comfort zone. Like...sing onstage...or flirt with a guy. Things I never do, but think of occasionally. I throw myself into acting, because it's the only time during the week I can express myself. It's not enough though. Agh! i'm just complaining! There's no other explanation! I need to be DOING something!!!!

Maybe I'll take up bingo...hmm....fitting. For one who spends Saturday night watching Disney channel. Or dancing with old men. Grrr....

A list of things to do with myself:
1. Get a job
2. Bake cookies
3. Practicalities

hmmm....4. Run

"You're a model prisoner.."
~ the only lyric from Adam's Model Prisoner album I know that keeps repeating in my head.