Standing in the rain,
Feel it wash away your pain,
And see dripping from your fingers,
All the contents of your brain

See pooling on the ground,
The thoughts that held you down,
You open your mouth and words come out,
You've managed to make a sound

Before the heavenly shower
All the words that give you power
Were imprisoned in your mind
Now talk and talk for hours
As you leave your walls behind.

If only it were as easy
As standing in the rain
Washing away your struggles
Erasing all your shame

But the rain does not have magic
It's just water from the sky
Though it falls and falls around us,
The ground will soon be dry

What that means for us is
No quick and easy fix.
We've got to do this thing ourselves
My thoughts on that are mixed.

If I could do this for myself,
I'd not be in this mess.
Though I know this way is better
Still I wonder if it's best.

For who am I to pick and choose
What things are good about me?
For all I seem to notice
Is the people who would doubt me.

If some supernatural element
Like rain or wind or snow
Could wipe away what's bad in me
My heart and mind would glow

I'd never silence the words I think
Or hide my true intention
For without my shy exterior,
My thoughts would all bear mention.

For now I'll strive to sift and search
Through all my qualities
Begone the bad, embrace the good,
And find who I should be.

Far Apart

Sometimes, he messages her.
It is always random, never consistent, never the same time of day,
Always the same words.
His words show her his warm, wide brown eyes smiling at her,
Appreciating her,
Making her feel loved and adored.

But even though she can feel the warmth of his eyes and see the way his mouth curves upward as he smiles at her,
He is still so far away.
Even if he were sitting right beside her he would be far away.
She tells him everything
Except what she is dying to say.

"I love you. I always have."
Those words are impossible to say,
Yet they rise up her throat whenever she is near him or whenever she hears his voice or whenever she feels his smile breaking over her.

He tells her she deserves better.
She doesn't want better. She only wants him.
She knows that what they have now is special, sacred to both of them.
It's a friendship rivaled by none other and one that they both hold near their hearts.
She doesn't want to break that.
That's why she holds her words close to her chest,
Clasps her hands over her heart and bears the pain in silence.

Because he is worth it.
She would not alienate him for the world.
He makes her laugh and she can tell him any crazy idea that pops into her head
Or unravel any convoluted thought
And he will listen
And laugh
And tell her that she is special to him.

She will hold those words to her,
Trying hard not to let them carry her away to something
More.
She wants to be his more.
She already holds him when he hurts,
Now she wants to be the one to make him laugh,
To play silly games that end in them rolling around and pressing their lips to each other.
That's what she wants.

But she knows, as she reads the sweet messages that he sends her in the dead of the night,
She knows that he isn't ready.
She knows that if she speaks the words she is desperate to release
Knows that he will run
Far and fast.
She couldn't do that to him.
She wouldn't.

So she plays the role of his friend, his confidante.
It's not a hard role to play, she does have those feelings for him too.
But as she finishes their conversations,
She closes her eyes and can't help but
Think.
They are so close,
Yet so
Very
Far
Apart.

Will it always be so?
She hopes with all her heart that
Someday
They will be together.
No longer separated by the words unsaid.
Close.
Inseparable.

No longer far apart.